The One with The Phone Call!

It seems going public was the best decision ever, as now Runaway Bride enjoyes attention of a few known, as well as unknown people.It was an impulsive reaction to something, but I really believe that impulsive decisions are the best ones coz in that fraction of a second, we really know what we wish for!

For now, Runaway Bride has a few stories to narrate, and one she is living at the moment, which would see the light of the day, in posts to follow. It is just a phone conversation for a story now.But don't you dare under-estimate this as it was as big a misadventure as possible.

One fine Friday evening, at 8:30 pm, the phone rings. Mr A calling, is displayed on the screen and I immediately feel a strange irritation within me.What all I do to make Friday evenings perfect, and just a phone call from a random stranger spoils it all. Alas.With a certainty, that I can't entertain this call at the moment, coz it is too perfect a moment to be ruined, I pick the call.

The voice on the other end was somewhat strange.But, not judging, Runaway Bride decided to take some time off and call back later.Mr A obliged, but he had something else in mind.He too wanted to schedule another time for this call, as he had something very important to do. Now, this was an excuse, or whatever, but I really could not believe what he had to say.Maybe, Mr A was being honest. I don't know. Mr A wanted to talk to Runaway Bride, around 10:30pm, so that he could be with his maid, when she cooks, cleans and does the utensils.What a susheel - gharelu-man, I thought, and agreed to talk to him later. 10:30pm, was too late to talk to a stranger, but Runaway Bride thought to give it a try.

So, the second phone call arrived exactly at 10:30pm. What punctuality! Anyways, the soul purpose of the call was to talk a little, and decide a suitable time and place for meeting over the weekend.Not anything less, not anything more.As always, the initial exchange of profiles, and parent-talk had been done earlier.And it was time for the munda-bashing!

Here are a few excerpts of the conversation that happened. Runaway Bride decided to keep a low key this time, so as not to spoil her mood for the entire weekend.But it didn't really help.

A   : Hello, how you doin' ( Joey Style! He knew he was doing it purposely.)

RB : Hey there,I am good. How are you? Seems you're a Joey fan as well!

A   :  Oh yes. Joey is my God, and I worship Barney and Charlie in real life.

RB : (Not knowing what to say, and whether to take it seriously, or not) Laughs.

A  : So, you were out when I first called in the evening.Have you reached home yet? (Trying to judge what kind of a girl is out at half past eight in the night)

RB : Yes, I was out shopping, with some friends. Abhi, at home.

A : How do you manage to come home so late, given NCR is such an unsafe territory?

RB : It is unsafe, but I can't stop going out.Anyways, A friend dropped me home.

A  : Hmmmmm(And thinks ,Women must know their limits,they should not be out after 8 in the evening. Gurgaon police has a valid point there!)

RB : So, what is the plan? When can we meet?

A : Too shocked to say anything.(How could a girl initiate such a talk!)

A : Where do you put up? I could come to your place. What time do you get up in the  morning?

RB : Well, as the kaam-vali-bai comes in the morning by 8, so I hardly have any choice but to wake up.Even during weekends.(A silent sob)

A  : Whaaaat???? You have a maid to do the chores for you? Really? Tumhare hathon
me mehndi lagi hai kya? ( Oh, what a joke.She must be thinking that I am a really funny guy. I have read those online dating tips, which say women like men who can make them laugh.Ye teer sidha nishane pe laga! Meri to aaj nikal padi)

RB : Laughs because she is at a loss of words.(And thinks what kind of a man this is. If he was serious, he is sick. If he was joking, it was the lamest joke ever.Jokes like these could make my life, a living hell) 

A  : Okay, where do you stay? Lets decide a place, and meet around 10.

RB : Okay, 10 is fine(Now I can't even sleep after the maid goes.So much sacrifice for guy like this.Oh no, why do I have to so all this) and I stay at Runaway Colony.

A : That sounds great. So, I''ll come down to your apartment at Runaway Colony and you can then pamper me with some home made delicious breakfast. Oh yes, I don't like bread, So please just take care of that.

RB : (In shock and disbelief) What?? Lets meet some place else. There is a CCD near my  place, we can sit there as well. Or I could come down, and we could meet somewhere midway between our places.

A : No, it is okay. Not a problem at all. I'll come to your place only. And in case you don't wanna cook for me, you could ask your maid to do it.I won't mind.

RB : (Still couldn't believe what she was hearing.She thought changing the topic for   now, could save her from the torture of being a host to this man.) Where do you   put up?

A :  Noida. Oh, I love Noida.I don't know why people call it is unsafe for women. I  think it is the best place in the entire universe.I just love it there.

RB : I had a short stint at Noida as well. But I didn't like it there. Delhi is anytime   better.

A : Achcha. Why don't you like Noida ? Tumhe kisi ne kabhi ched diya tha kya udhar? Tumhari photo dekh ke to lagta hai ki you must be a target to all the eve teasing,  isliye I thought puch hee leta hu.

RB : What!!! Okay it is getting late. Lets not meet tomorrow, and keep it on Sunday instead. We can decide on a time and place tomorrow.(Oh my God, this guy must be one of those perverts on the streets of Noida. God, save me!)

A : Seems fine. Lets decide tomorrow. I'll call you. (Yayy, what a win-win situation. I'll get to talk to her again. And then milna to hai hee! Its a jackpot!)

RB : Okay then good night. ( Betta, abhi tere sapno pe paani ferti hu, zara phone to rakh)

RB decided not to talk to Mr A  ever again, let alone meeting this guy. Called up dad, and he called up A's dad. And the meeting was called off, at the last minute, siting the kundli mismatch as the reason. Dear Kundli, thanks for being there and saving me from all these strange men!

P.S.

Mr A tried to call Runaway Bride a few times, but she didn't pick the call.Then loads of smses followed.So, all in all, the decision to not meet pervert Mr A, turned out to be in Runaway Bride's favour.And the weekend was spared:)

Sonu Kahi Ka

WARNING - Long Post Ahead.

Wondering what Runaway Bride has been up to all these days? Well, what else could she do , other than meeting random guys.Does she really have a choice? No.

So many stories later, the situation has not changed a bit.Random strangers continue to ruin her weekends.Sometimes, Runaway Bride feels she has seen it all, and now it can't get any worse.But then it can't be over so soon, you see.

Runaway Bride went home to meet her parents.She was having a nice time at home,when, not so surprisingly, her dad started it all, once again.The guy this time, was nice to look at, belonged to a respectable family and was working in a reputed MNC. All that mattered to dad, was there in this most eligible bachelor dad had found for Runaway Bride.He was perfect. Except, one thing - His name was Sonu.( Runaway Bride has never played the name game in this blog.But this time, it is inevitable.) She just could not imagine her wedding card reading "Runaway Bride weds Sonu"

Numerous failed attempts later,Runaway Bride had to shorten her trip, and take the first train back to Delhi, to meet the man of her dad's dreams - Sonu. And it wasn't funny so don't you dare grin.The time and place of meeting were decided, keeping in mind that it would get dark sooner, as it was winter already.

So, after a tiring train journey, Runaway Bride reached Delhi and headed to her apartment.Within no time, she got ready and left to meet Sonu.This is what parents make you do, when you are independent, pretty, perfect, but haven't found the man of your dreams.To them, being single is such a curse.Anyways, Runaway Bride reached the destination fifteen minutes earlier, as suggested by everyone that one must not keep the guy waiting.

Sonu turned up, 45 minutes later and he didn't find it suitable to say a customary 'Sorry, I kept you waiting". Instead he chose to start the conversation with - "You looked bulky in the pic but you are pretty slim". Helloooooooooo - Who the hell are you, to tell me, or for that matter, any girl that she is bulky or not.First,look at your name.I don't need to go any further than that! For her entire life, people have always been jealous of Runaway Bride considering the fact that she can eat anything and everything without a concern for putting on weight.And here is a random guy,telling her she looked bulky in the pic.WHAT CRAP!

Anyways, Runaway Bride decided to overlook these three roadblocks, and thought not to judge the guy in a matter of minutes.She thought that maybe there was more to him rather than that.And there was, definitely more to him.We decided to sit down somewhere and Sonu jee chose to the food court of an over-crowded mall, which was no less than a fish market.(Turn Off Number 3, and If I consider his name was Sonu, this would be Turn Off Number 4) But thankfully, there was no space to sit, so we had to hunt for a new place. 

He wanted to go to Moti Mahal.We started walking and he chose not to walk with Runaway Bride, but behind her.(Turn off Number 5)

Runaway Bride opened the door.Sonu slipped in, saying thank you.Any guy you know does that? (Turn Off Number 6. Runaway Bride had almost made a decision by now)

We sat.Sonu asked what Runaway Bride wanted to have.She said she would go for a coke.But, Sonu wanted to have soup and share it with Runaway Bride.(Runaway Bride can pay for coke, as well as the soup, please don't worry dear Sonu, you can go ahead and order whatever you want to.But please don't force her to share soup with you - Turn off Number 7)

Sonu had a huge invisible checklist.Runaway Bride could see him ticking the bullet-ed points, whenever he spoke(read asked)something. (Turn Off Number 8)

Considering what a pathetic name he had(It is my point of view and I am entitled to it), he kept on spoiling Runaway Bride's name by pronouncing a different version of it, every single time.Loser.(Biggest Turn Off Up-til now - Number 9)

An excerpt from our conversation ---

Sonu : Can you cook ?

RB    : Yes.

Sonu : Tumhe dekh ke to nahi lagta!

RB chose not to offend him because she couldn't think of an answer to this, which wouldn't.

Sonu : Do you have a boyfriend?

RB    : No

Sonu : Tumhe dekh ke to nahi lagta!

Once again,RB chose not to offend him because she couldn't think of an answer to this, which wouldn't.

Sonu : Which one you like better- going to a pub or sitting in nature's lap?

RB    : Nature.I don't like the combination of loud music and darkness.

Sonu : Tumhe dekh ke to nahi lagta!

This would be the last time RB would overlook something he said.Next time, he is going to get an answer.All boundaries crossed.This guy is making sure he wants to get it from Runaway Bride.

Sonu  : Will it be a problem if my parents come and visit me?

RB     : No

Sonu  : Tumhe dekh ke to nahi lagta!

This was it.Runaway Bride couldn't take it anymore.So here is what she said -"Actually, you are right.I don't like staying with parents.In fact, I just can't tolerate those oldies.You know, whenever I go home, I ask my mom and dad to book a room in the nearby hotel for themselves and stay there till I am at home."

The loser sitting in front of me wasn't expecting this for an answer. Immediately, he asked if it was time to leave.Runaway Bride obliged.Thankfully, it was over.Runaway Bride was so pissed off that she didn't offer to pay or even share the expenses.

P.S.

Sonu had also ordered some kebabs. While waiting for them to arrive, the hungry man thrived on the green chatni and Runaway Bride couldn't help but imagine that Sonu was not Sonu but a pregnant lady, who couldn't resist herself from having that khatti chatni!

Since this episode, Runaway Bride has devised a new abuse and she calls ill-mannered people "Sonu Kahi Ka"

Two Stories

It has been really really long since I updated this space here. I was buzy relocating, switching jobs, finding a house, settling down, switching jobs again!!! There was a period of lull in the 'munda-hunt', but those golden days flew away so fast that I realised that I had, had a break, only when it was over:(

Anyways, then Mr H came into picture.Mr H - Nice guy, perfect son,perfect- brother and would have been a perfect hubby too.It was nice talking to him, but yours truly was not in a state of mind to be the ultimate 'bahu' that his family was looking for. Mr H was one of those people who had struggled a lot, in life and now,he wanted life to be perfect.I called him a self-made-man!I had a strange kind of respect for this man, but somehow, I was not ready to make ultimate sacrifice which was,not a distant demand, but a close reality in his life , as I saw it.

I was not looking for excuses to turn him down, but I too want my life to be good,if not perfect.And the visions I get, of myself as a married woman, were not too close to what my life would have been, If I chose to take the thing with Mr H further.

I wish Mr H, a nice life ahead and hope he finds what he is looking for. Mr H, it was nice talking to you.

 

Also, I met Mr K. It was a strange co-incidence.While going back to Delhi, I met our common friend in the train, who kept on telling me that one of her friends would be joining her in sometime. And yours truly got the ultimate shock to see, Mr K.It was very uncomfortable. The three of us had to do some really silly talk before dozing off to sleep. And as always, cribbing about our jobs was the best topic anyone could have started to avoid any ackward conversation, or to break the ice(whatever it was)


But, how could have Murphy spared me.When something goes wrong, everything else, is waiting to go wrong.My train got late and we had to spend another few hours together, than expected:( I have never felt so uncomfortable before - I had literally spent the night in an arm's distance from a guy, I rejected coz his parents wouldn't let me work.Life's a strange bitch!

Bas Issi Ki Kami Thi

to Me


Sub: Marriage Proposal


Refer to above mentioned subject. If you are the same then confirm me. Once you confirm you will get all the information and photo of my son to further.



Thanks,
Ramesh Anand 

This is no spam.I have this email in my inbox.And it sucks.I have no idea where this gentleman got my mail id from.I bet you can't imagine how irritating it is to recieve such an e-mail.

A long day at office.Lots of work.I reach home around 8.Rush to get groceries.Come home.Cook food.Eat.Avoid a long chat with mom n dad just to shun any conversation regarding new probable grooms that they would have found today.End the call in 1min 31 secs.Finally connect to the net...AND THIS IS WHAT IS WAITING IN MY INBOX.Who knows I might be getting a chat request from 'RA' tomorrow.

Oh please, if you are thinking that I am over-reacting then spare me and stop reading ahead.Right now.For the time being,this blog is exclusively for capturing my reactions which include cribbing and bitching and everything else that I want to do when I see such things happening to me.All action, (and reactions)would be posted here!So,I hope lots of masala to look forward to in the coming days!

And now getting back to where I was...Mr RA, It seems your son is the new heart-throb of India.And every girl(single and married) is dying to marry him.Even his pics are such a rare commodity that they are not available in stores but would have to be ordered from the manufacturing industry.What a man he must be-an Alpha male for sure! But SORRY, THIS GIRL HERE IS NOT INTERESTED.Alas, you knocked the wrong door,and that too with incorrect english(which is such a put-off).So please, Spare me from any further communication.

On a second thought,I m thinking of replying to this gentleman and asking for pics of his son who seems to be highly in demand.No, I am not mad...just curious abt how HOT he is...And I have this wierd thing in my head to share the pic with you guys! Wt say? Do you people want to see him too? ;-) Let me know through the comments! :D