A Cainquain Affair

Man
Dejected Talkative
Looks Observes Judges
Believing, or maybe not
Adam


Woman
Sad Irritated 
Listens Pretends Hopes
But crying from inside
Eve


Man
Half-Full Half-Empty 
Laughs Enjoys Thinks
Secretly hoping against hope
Mars


Woman
Dejected Silent
Watches Tries Believes
Laughing at her destiny
Venus


Couple
Disconnected Incompatible
Save Skewing Un-tieing
Releasing themselves emotionally un-
-pair

So, I met another Mr. Not-Right-For-Me, today. This poetry woven in forms of Cainquains describes it all.

A Frequent Phone Call

My dear, it has been a long time,
What have you been doing all this while?


Hows life, work and your health?
I've heard you have put on a li'l weight.


Twenty Four and a few months old,
Dear,It is the right time to buy you gold.


Go get indulged in a beauty treatment,
Thats the first step to guy procurement.

Later, get hold of a photographer,
Who can make you a few shades lighter.

Get it clicked and your work is done,
And I'll do rest of the exertion.

I have a few guys waiting in queue,
Let me know the kind that interests you.

To find a perfect match is not so eazy,
But you say you're always buzy.

Take out time from your tile,
And check out the guys profile.

I'll arrange a meeting when you like,
And rest would depend on your choice.

I'll be happy to see you settled soon,
With your hubby and kids around.

The One with The Phone Call!

It seems going public was the best decision ever, as now Runaway Bride enjoyes attention of a few known, as well as unknown people.It was an impulsive reaction to something, but I really believe that impulsive decisions are the best ones coz in that fraction of a second, we really know what we wish for!

For now, Runaway Bride has a few stories to narrate, and one she is living at the moment, which would see the light of the day, in posts to follow. It is just a phone conversation for a story now.But don't you dare under-estimate this as it was as big a misadventure as possible.

One fine Friday evening, at 8:30 pm, the phone rings. Mr A calling, is displayed on the screen and I immediately feel a strange irritation within me.What all I do to make Friday evenings perfect, and just a phone call from a random stranger spoils it all. Alas.With a certainty, that I can't entertain this call at the moment, coz it is too perfect a moment to be ruined, I pick the call.

The voice on the other end was somewhat strange.But, not judging, Runaway Bride decided to take some time off and call back later.Mr A obliged, but he had something else in mind.He too wanted to schedule another time for this call, as he had something very important to do. Now, this was an excuse, or whatever, but I really could not believe what he had to say.Maybe, Mr A was being honest. I don't know. Mr A wanted to talk to Runaway Bride, around 10:30pm, so that he could be with his maid, when she cooks, cleans and does the utensils.What a susheel - gharelu-man, I thought, and agreed to talk to him later. 10:30pm, was too late to talk to a stranger, but Runaway Bride thought to give it a try.

So, the second phone call arrived exactly at 10:30pm. What punctuality! Anyways, the soul purpose of the call was to talk a little, and decide a suitable time and place for meeting over the weekend.Not anything less, not anything more.As always, the initial exchange of profiles, and parent-talk had been done earlier.And it was time for the munda-bashing!

Here are a few excerpts of the conversation that happened. Runaway Bride decided to keep a low key this time, so as not to spoil her mood for the entire weekend.But it didn't really help.

A   : Hello, how you doin' ( Joey Style! He knew he was doing it purposely.)

RB : Hey there,I am good. How are you? Seems you're a Joey fan as well!

A   :  Oh yes. Joey is my God, and I worship Barney and Charlie in real life.

RB : (Not knowing what to say, and whether to take it seriously, or not) Laughs.

A  : So, you were out when I first called in the evening.Have you reached home yet? (Trying to judge what kind of a girl is out at half past eight in the night)

RB : Yes, I was out shopping, with some friends. Abhi, at home.

A : How do you manage to come home so late, given NCR is such an unsafe territory?

RB : It is unsafe, but I can't stop going out.Anyways, A friend dropped me home.

A  : Hmmmmm(And thinks ,Women must know their limits,they should not be out after 8 in the evening. Gurgaon police has a valid point there!)

RB : So, what is the plan? When can we meet?

A : Too shocked to say anything.(How could a girl initiate such a talk!)

A : Where do you put up? I could come to your place. What time do you get up in the  morning?

RB : Well, as the kaam-vali-bai comes in the morning by 8, so I hardly have any choice but to wake up.Even during weekends.(A silent sob)

A  : Whaaaat???? You have a maid to do the chores for you? Really? Tumhare hathon
me mehndi lagi hai kya? ( Oh, what a joke.She must be thinking that I am a really funny guy. I have read those online dating tips, which say women like men who can make them laugh.Ye teer sidha nishane pe laga! Meri to aaj nikal padi)

RB : Laughs because she is at a loss of words.(And thinks what kind of a man this is. If he was serious, he is sick. If he was joking, it was the lamest joke ever.Jokes like these could make my life, a living hell) 

A  : Okay, where do you stay? Lets decide a place, and meet around 10.

RB : Okay, 10 is fine(Now I can't even sleep after the maid goes.So much sacrifice for guy like this.Oh no, why do I have to so all this) and I stay at Runaway Colony.

A : That sounds great. So, I''ll come down to your apartment at Runaway Colony and you can then pamper me with some home made delicious breakfast. Oh yes, I don't like bread, So please just take care of that.

RB : (In shock and disbelief) What?? Lets meet some place else. There is a CCD near my  place, we can sit there as well. Or I could come down, and we could meet somewhere midway between our places.

A : No, it is okay. Not a problem at all. I'll come to your place only. And in case you don't wanna cook for me, you could ask your maid to do it.I won't mind.

RB : (Still couldn't believe what she was hearing.She thought changing the topic for   now, could save her from the torture of being a host to this man.) Where do you   put up?

A :  Noida. Oh, I love Noida.I don't know why people call it is unsafe for women. I  think it is the best place in the entire universe.I just love it there.

RB : I had a short stint at Noida as well. But I didn't like it there. Delhi is anytime   better.

A : Achcha. Why don't you like Noida ? Tumhe kisi ne kabhi ched diya tha kya udhar? Tumhari photo dekh ke to lagta hai ki you must be a target to all the eve teasing,  isliye I thought puch hee leta hu.

RB : What!!! Okay it is getting late. Lets not meet tomorrow, and keep it on Sunday instead. We can decide on a time and place tomorrow.(Oh my God, this guy must be one of those perverts on the streets of Noida. God, save me!)

A : Seems fine. Lets decide tomorrow. I'll call you. (Yayy, what a win-win situation. I'll get to talk to her again. And then milna to hai hee! Its a jackpot!)

RB : Okay then good night. ( Betta, abhi tere sapno pe paani ferti hu, zara phone to rakh)

RB decided not to talk to Mr A  ever again, let alone meeting this guy. Called up dad, and he called up A's dad. And the meeting was called off, at the last minute, siting the kundli mismatch as the reason. Dear Kundli, thanks for being there and saving me from all these strange men!

P.S.

Mr A tried to call Runaway Bride a few times, but she didn't pick the call.Then loads of smses followed.So, all in all, the decision to not meet pervert Mr A, turned out to be in Runaway Bride's favour.And the weekend was spared:)

Calling The Golden Misses Out There

After a not so long private stint, Runaway Bride has decided to go public,for the benefit of other brides-to-be, who think they're alone and suffering. So, a new blog, a new look, new readers (and my old sweety pies as well, how can I forget you all), and maybe new guys to meet :P  

It has been a rickety ride up-hill for Runaway Bride and there seems no end to the road less traveled these days.Anyways, today she is in no mood to crib.Together, we will laugh our hearts out, at the cost of all those guys who were supposedly the 'perspective grooms'. The endless times you had to cancel some engagement to meet a guy, the not-so-scheduled visit to a saloon, the oh-my-God-I'll-have-to-dress-traditionally-moments, the high tension drama before and after a meet will all make us laugh, one day when we look back.

So what, if Prince Charming is coming on a turtle instead of a horse. So what, if every frog has to be kissed before Mr Right appears. So what, if other people are continuously stealing our thunder! So what, if we are Golden Misses - It is all Good for us in a way that we haven't made a wrong choice yet.


P.S.
Runaway Bride has a few stories to narrate.And a few very interesting ones coming soon;-)

We're On a Break!

Runaway Bride decided not to meet N. Or any other guy, for that matter. She had, had enough of crap from every Tom, Dick and Harry and she was not going to take it anymore.Fed up, of everything, she decided to take a break from the maddening process, and thankfully, her parents obliged.Evidently, they also wanted a break. Ha ha

The much awaited 6 month-break, lasted sooner than summer vacations would end.A few "good-profiles" came every now and then, which Runaway Bride's parents could not resist.But, they put them off, for a few more months, so as to not bother her in the hibernation period.

The Spring lasted, and once again, there was a long queue of profiles, telephone numbers, Photographs, Background Checks, etc etc. Life was not going t be a cakewalk, after the break.The dream was going to be over soon. :(

Everything comes to an end, and good things end much sooner.So, the best thing which happened to Runaway Bride,in 2011, came to an end and once again, she stepped into the mad mad world of crazy people.

Nasty Mr N

What an irony it is that there are just two posts for 2011 - The year which started with downs and lows, and ended with no less than ups and highs, at-least in some facets of life.Runaway Bride has lost the count of losers she met during this year.

January 2011 began with a big bang of realizations and resolutions.Realizations, for Runaway Bride and resolutions for her parents, relatives, friends, neighbors, acquaintances and the kaam-vali-bai at her parent's house. Runaway Bride now knew, and tried to accept the fact that life was going to change forever.And the change was because all her best buddies will not be available all the time. And people around her had a new year resolution to find a suitable guy for her. Now, this time, it was more than a resolution, because people were actually serious about it.

What followed was a wild ride for Runaway Bride, which left her, shaken. She met some losers and some more losers. Reality continued to spoil her life.

Let me start from the beginning. The year began with shopping for weddings.And, it left Runaway Bride too tired, both physically and mentally.After one of the shopping escapades, she got a call from Mr N. And surprisingly, the conversation turned out to be nice and left her craving for more. After a few phone conversations, N was planning to come to meet Runaway Bride, all the way from Pune. 

But little did Runaway Bride know, that there was more to it, than what she was actually able to see.N was becoming more and more demanding, with each conversation. And, though Runaway Bride sensed it, but she could not really believe that N was getting possessive as well. And they hadn't event met yet. 

Just, Two conversations later, N had already assumed it was customary to talk to Runaway Bride, everyday. He freaked out, when Runaway Bride was busy with a wedding in her family. He even told Runaway Bride, he missed her and he was actually not expecting to be left out, only coz there was a stupid family engagement. A few conversations, over the phone, and this guy was involving Runaway Bride in decisions about his career and life. And, he  was demanding and equal stage in her life as well.

Two days later, N was coming to meet Runaway Bride, with "almost" and engagement ring, tons of possessive attitude and loads of advice about how Runaway Bride should remain  away from guys.

A day before the scheduled meeting, Runaway Bride was trying hard, not to freak out, but could not hold it any longer when N assumed it was okay to call Runaway Bride at 1:30 a.m. on a weekday, just because he wanted to talk to her.End of Story.

It might have been an impulsive decision, but thank God for it.And Thank Lord, for sparing Runaway Bride the trouble to meet this desperate soul in person.

P.S.

It is time to pen down, all the adventures Runaway Bride had in 2011.

Sonu Kahi Ka

WARNING - Long Post Ahead.

Wondering what Runaway Bride has been up to all these days? Well, what else could she do , other than meeting random guys.Does she really have a choice? No.

So many stories later, the situation has not changed a bit.Random strangers continue to ruin her weekends.Sometimes, Runaway Bride feels she has seen it all, and now it can't get any worse.But then it can't be over so soon, you see.

Runaway Bride went home to meet her parents.She was having a nice time at home,when, not so surprisingly, her dad started it all, once again.The guy this time, was nice to look at, belonged to a respectable family and was working in a reputed MNC. All that mattered to dad, was there in this most eligible bachelor dad had found for Runaway Bride.He was perfect. Except, one thing - His name was Sonu.( Runaway Bride has never played the name game in this blog.But this time, it is inevitable.) She just could not imagine her wedding card reading "Runaway Bride weds Sonu"

Numerous failed attempts later,Runaway Bride had to shorten her trip, and take the first train back to Delhi, to meet the man of her dad's dreams - Sonu. And it wasn't funny so don't you dare grin.The time and place of meeting were decided, keeping in mind that it would get dark sooner, as it was winter already.

So, after a tiring train journey, Runaway Bride reached Delhi and headed to her apartment.Within no time, she got ready and left to meet Sonu.This is what parents make you do, when you are independent, pretty, perfect, but haven't found the man of your dreams.To them, being single is such a curse.Anyways, Runaway Bride reached the destination fifteen minutes earlier, as suggested by everyone that one must not keep the guy waiting.

Sonu turned up, 45 minutes later and he didn't find it suitable to say a customary 'Sorry, I kept you waiting". Instead he chose to start the conversation with - "You looked bulky in the pic but you are pretty slim". Helloooooooooo - Who the hell are you, to tell me, or for that matter, any girl that she is bulky or not.First,look at your name.I don't need to go any further than that! For her entire life, people have always been jealous of Runaway Bride considering the fact that she can eat anything and everything without a concern for putting on weight.And here is a random guy,telling her she looked bulky in the pic.WHAT CRAP!

Anyways, Runaway Bride decided to overlook these three roadblocks, and thought not to judge the guy in a matter of minutes.She thought that maybe there was more to him rather than that.And there was, definitely more to him.We decided to sit down somewhere and Sonu jee chose to the food court of an over-crowded mall, which was no less than a fish market.(Turn Off Number 3, and If I consider his name was Sonu, this would be Turn Off Number 4) But thankfully, there was no space to sit, so we had to hunt for a new place. 

He wanted to go to Moti Mahal.We started walking and he chose not to walk with Runaway Bride, but behind her.(Turn off Number 5)

Runaway Bride opened the door.Sonu slipped in, saying thank you.Any guy you know does that? (Turn Off Number 6. Runaway Bride had almost made a decision by now)

We sat.Sonu asked what Runaway Bride wanted to have.She said she would go for a coke.But, Sonu wanted to have soup and share it with Runaway Bride.(Runaway Bride can pay for coke, as well as the soup, please don't worry dear Sonu, you can go ahead and order whatever you want to.But please don't force her to share soup with you - Turn off Number 7)

Sonu had a huge invisible checklist.Runaway Bride could see him ticking the bullet-ed points, whenever he spoke(read asked)something. (Turn Off Number 8)

Considering what a pathetic name he had(It is my point of view and I am entitled to it), he kept on spoiling Runaway Bride's name by pronouncing a different version of it, every single time.Loser.(Biggest Turn Off Up-til now - Number 9)

An excerpt from our conversation ---

Sonu : Can you cook ?

RB    : Yes.

Sonu : Tumhe dekh ke to nahi lagta!

RB chose not to offend him because she couldn't think of an answer to this, which wouldn't.

Sonu : Do you have a boyfriend?

RB    : No

Sonu : Tumhe dekh ke to nahi lagta!

Once again,RB chose not to offend him because she couldn't think of an answer to this, which wouldn't.

Sonu : Which one you like better- going to a pub or sitting in nature's lap?

RB    : Nature.I don't like the combination of loud music and darkness.

Sonu : Tumhe dekh ke to nahi lagta!

This would be the last time RB would overlook something he said.Next time, he is going to get an answer.All boundaries crossed.This guy is making sure he wants to get it from Runaway Bride.

Sonu  : Will it be a problem if my parents come and visit me?

RB     : No

Sonu  : Tumhe dekh ke to nahi lagta!

This was it.Runaway Bride couldn't take it anymore.So here is what she said -"Actually, you are right.I don't like staying with parents.In fact, I just can't tolerate those oldies.You know, whenever I go home, I ask my mom and dad to book a room in the nearby hotel for themselves and stay there till I am at home."

The loser sitting in front of me wasn't expecting this for an answer. Immediately, he asked if it was time to leave.Runaway Bride obliged.Thankfully, it was over.Runaway Bride was so pissed off that she didn't offer to pay or even share the expenses.

P.S.

Sonu had also ordered some kebabs. While waiting for them to arrive, the hungry man thrived on the green chatni and Runaway Bride couldn't help but imagine that Sonu was not Sonu but a pregnant lady, who couldn't resist herself from having that khatti chatni!

Since this episode, Runaway Bride has devised a new abuse and she calls ill-mannered people "Sonu Kahi Ka"